Beautiful article, Nir. It kind of reminds me of a lesson my grandpa taught me when I was a kid. He noticed I played with different toys depending on whether I was alone or with friends. One day he asked, "Do you really like these Hot Wheels cars? Then why do you only play with them when Leo is around?" took me a while to realize what I really liked, and what I thought I liked just to "fit in".
This is perhaps a different angle on seeking validation, more like seeking acceptance.
one question that completely shifted my thinking around validation and acceptance is:
If no one will ever see this, would I still do it?
Great post Nir, however, I do not agree with over simplification of our need for approval from external environment. In a work setting, our success is largely defined by approval from clients, bosses and peers. Not succeeding leads to failure that may lead to losing the security of our job. So, seeking approval is also a survival instinct. Maybe not for a few privileged individuals who are financially secured and really don't need to toil in a job. Having said that, I do completely agree with the fact that a mind that has free space creates the best ideas.
What an amazing post! It resonates with all phases of life. I appreciate the analogy of an artist, as I am an artist (and a product manager), where the audience comes from different perspectives. Not seeking validation is the only thing that has helped me keep going!
I'm grateful to have read this post and your comment in it. I'm also a Product manager and I've been struggling a lot with external validation, it's great to know that this approach helped you keep going, I'm putting this post advice into practice.
Beautiful article, Nir. It kind of reminds me of a lesson my grandpa taught me when I was a kid. He noticed I played with different toys depending on whether I was alone or with friends. One day he asked, "Do you really like these Hot Wheels cars? Then why do you only play with them when Leo is around?" took me a while to realize what I really liked, and what I thought I liked just to "fit in".
This is perhaps a different angle on seeking validation, more like seeking acceptance.
one question that completely shifted my thinking around validation and acceptance is:
If no one will ever see this, would I still do it?
Great article Nir, thank you!
Great post Nir, however, I do not agree with over simplification of our need for approval from external environment. In a work setting, our success is largely defined by approval from clients, bosses and peers. Not succeeding leads to failure that may lead to losing the security of our job. So, seeking approval is also a survival instinct. Maybe not for a few privileged individuals who are financially secured and really don't need to toil in a job. Having said that, I do completely agree with the fact that a mind that has free space creates the best ideas.
What an amazing post! It resonates with all phases of life. I appreciate the analogy of an artist, as I am an artist (and a product manager), where the audience comes from different perspectives. Not seeking validation is the only thing that has helped me keep going!
I'm grateful to have read this post and your comment in it. I'm also a Product manager and I've been struggling a lot with external validation, it's great to know that this approach helped you keep going, I'm putting this post advice into practice.
Yeah, you loser!